Something New

It’s true that I take a hiatus from blogging for a few months, here and there.  It’s also true that I have yet to find that one project that I can honestly call “ongoing.”  I’ve left a string of projects behind me, each with a clear cut start date and a slightly foggier ending date.  I almost thought this blog would be my last project, one that I could contribute to indefinitely, without worry of content or style restrictions.

Yet here I am again, contemplating a new start.  I’d like to work on a blog that isn’t connected to games — I’ve even played with the thought of putting my real life content on it.  I’ve considered that maybe it’s time to grow up.  But let’s not be too hasty.  After all, here I am now, making a new post.  Only just today, I was looking through a bunch of old game screenshots.  Maybe it isn’t quite time to give up this ghost.

One thing is clear though:


“Something new” is going to be another blog.  I’m going to try writing different types of articles instead of just the usual ramblings and poetry.

Here’s what it looks like so far:  kikotsu | musings

To Be Known

Solace and Explanation

i recall when speaking was easy
like driving a spike into the trunk of a tree
tasting the sap, drop by drop
until i understood the essence of you

i remember taking a glance
not to discern facts, but to experience your eyes
falling in, then becoming immersed
until i swam in the thought of you

i can imagine your breadth
in the manner of a circle
enveloping, and being enveloped
until i find solace through you

image credit:  “Solace and Explanation” by slayryder


Found You With My Eyes Closed


It’s been so long.

Peering cautiously out of one barely opened eye, my mind harkens back to those old dreams of flight.  I recall the strange sensation — it was more like floating in zero gravity after springing nimbly into the air, than actually flying.  This time was similar.  Only instead of rising up exuberantly, then floating tranquilly, this feeling was one of leaping from one thing to another.  That’s me, a rehabilitated Tarzan swinging from tapestry to tapestry in some huge library in my head.  Momentum was again my friend but now gravity was an unspoken nemesis I had to respect in order to soar through the air the way I loved to.

Again I recognize the importance of staying in the middle.  Not so much in the sense of balance or moderation, as is usually the case, but for the crucial sake of survival.  This is new.  This instinctual restraint is not inborn, but the result of knowing firsthand what happens.  If you let the joy of the magic take you too high too fast, the magic consumes you.  And now there’s the new knowledge of the opposite extreme.  Flying low, slowly and apathetically, is safe.  But there’s the gradual descent that inevitably follows.  I had taken it too far, this fear of burning up in the sun.  For too long I had dutifully meandered the earth like a good human, bent on mediocrity and the general consensus.

But that’s not real, anymore than television is.  And it certainly does not satisfy, the way a well-oiled meal enjoyed in the company of good friends would.  Most importantly, it’s not life-sustaining.  Moving through the air and practicing physics in a dream-state is the cure, and I drink up the experience much like I would down a gulp of water offered up by a mystical cactus in the sweltering heat of the desert.

I breathe.  Hope still lives.

Nipp Mousetrap

They say that good things come in small packages.  Although usually I reserve that phrase for tiny treats or those nifty little bottles of travel shampoo, I think in this scenario it definitely applies.  I’m talking about Nipp Mousetrap, of course.  She may be diminutive of stature, but this calico Charr is a creative powerhouse.  Her alter ego (shall we call her Aywren?) has quite the internet presence. Where should I begin?


If you’re on Tumblr and you’re part of the Guild Wars 2 community, maybe you’ve already seen her.  Otherwise known as White Charr, Nipp has a great Guild Wars 2 blog that she regularly updates with all kinds of GW2 fan art, timely news, and random bits of in-game humor.  If you enjoy art and like to stay in-the-know about the latest Guild Wars 2 updates, following her is highly recommended.


Not only does Aywren appreciate art, she’s an artist herself.  And a writer to boot!  Below is the cover she drew for “Dreigiau Book 1,” the first of 4 books in her Dreigiau series.  Also, if you have a Kindle, your needs have been provided for.  To date, she has 2 Kindle Edition eBooks, the first of which is available free at Amazon.  Readers of the fantasy genre, I can’t think of any reason not to check it out.


This is just a small sampling of the artwork and creative writing of one Nipp Mousetrap.  To stay informed about ongoing and new Sygnus Network projects, maybe the best thing to do is subscribe to Aywren’s blog.

Last but not least, Aywren is the guild leader of Wayrift [WAY] (along with her buddy and co-conspirator Syn)!


  • We’re named after the Wayrift Webcomic
  • We call the Dragonbrand server our home
  • Aywren’s warrior Tsuya Tai likes Garlic Bread and frequently carries it in his bags



Phoenix Poem


golden plumes arching
touching  only the wind
your freedom captivates

like liquid warmth in the shape of a bird
one enchanted feather could keep me alive forever

with no net to catch you
and no will to cage you
only my gaze is satisfied

the distance between the earth and the air
keeps me catching my breath

i won’t bring the phoenix down
i won’t take the brilliance from the sky
i’ll keep on admiring you
but from the corner of my eye

Phoenix Nebula

More Wayrift [WAY] Guildies

Last month I posted some screenshots of fellow Wayrift [WAY] guild mates. One thing I immediately noticed was that I mostly had screenshots of the same few close pals. While that’s to be expected, since then I’ve made an effort to create more screenshot opportunities with the guildies I don’t see as often.

Jenna, Gavin, Haverhill, & Jo Cur

Jenna, Gavin, Haverhill, & Jo Cur after fighting a giant

The characters that appear are:  Tharash, Korrik, Jo Cur, Armorclad, Oso Cagey, Haverhill, Komradette Midna, Zeb Ya, Tsuya Tai, Crummy Goggles, Ji Whitehawk, Jenna, Goobex, Solgae, Bridget, Sugarbabymonk, Liitle Dude, Karma Tornado, Celesteana, & Gavin Whitehawk

(For best results, view the slideshow in fullscreen mode! It’s the square button furthest to the right on the navigation bar.)

Komrade Markovski


Trafalga Markus Vii

Who is that Charr?  He’s good at jump puzzles, is patient and kind, has a sixth sense when it comes to finding treasure chests, and shares neat songs like the one below.  Good thing he was born.  =)

Oh yea, and he likes to take naps.

(For best results, view the slideshow in fullscreen mode! It’s the square button furthest to the right on the navigation bar.)

John Frusciante – Favorite Songs

Two of my current favorite songs are off of John Frusciante’s 5th solo album “Shadows Collide with People” (released 2004).

John Frusciante

John Frusciante

In the song “Carvel,” his vocal style simultaneously evokes the conflicting emotions of pain and exultation. It calls to mind what I envision surfing must be like — riding a wave of barely contained passion, he lets out enough to flow and really express himself, while still maintaining control. And yes it does make me want to eat a Carvel cake.


When I try I force it out
Never looking in only out
Now is the time for millions to lose
Never the same since I lost you
Running me out of town
Wishing the best around
Would only get off my back
Heaven receives you and throws you back

Sending a dummy to my God

Driving to eat a Carvel cake
Somewhere you know isn’t where you think
Have you gone away
Have you gone, have you gone away already
(come back, come back, come back, come back)

All the good times are on their way
Up and down that’s how energy stays alive
And I wouldn’t have it any other way


I’m one of those people who listens to music as a mood altering tool, and I’ve found that nothing helps a low mood like pleasing harmonies and a beautiful melody. And since I’ve always had a soft spot for acoustic, which is supplemented with a little electric here, this song really does it for me.

“Song to Sing when I’m Lonely”

A song to play when I’m lonely
Win and never play a game again
No one to face when I’m falling
Holding tight to dreams that never end

I’ll be you
I do
I’ll be you
No one’s afraid to be called by another name
No one dares to be put down where they don’t belong
Nowhere’s anyone reason
Everything dying and leaving
Out with these faults and you make me baby
Faking a movement but no one’s seeing it
No one always finds peace flung
No one chooses to beat my pride down

Symbols pierce right through me
People fail to be drawn up
Sunlight to fate accumulates
Loving pain to be clung to

 By luminous bodies
Only waiting for long signs to be wrong
And true to us
Out of place in my own time
Drowning thinking that I’m dry
Holding onto facts that’ll never be proven
Faking an action cause no one’s looking
Hello when I’m crashing
Feel nothing when my life’s flashing before my eyes
You should’ve threw me down
Is the content so much

Guild Wars 2 – Wayrift [WAY]

I’ve taken quite a few screenshots since I started playing Guild Wars 2, but realized that I hadn’t posted any since joining the Wayrift [WAY] guild. Here are some pics of new friends, as well as longtime pals.

Crummy, Gavin, & Tsuya

Crummy Goggle, Gavin, & Tsuya Tai waiting for the Shatterer to appear.

Although I don’t have screenshots of everyone, many of the guild mates I see most often are depicted here.  The characters that appear are:  Tsuya Tai, Zeb Ya, Hannover Phist, Ling Si, Jadyn, Karma Tornado, Komrade Markovski, Hermad, Raven Kihaku, Chiang Shi, Ji Whitehawk, Jo Cur, Haverhill, and Gavin Whitehawk.

edit: Posted more guild screenshots here:  “More Wayrift [WAY] Guildies” (added 2/15/13).

(For best results, view the slideshow in fullscreen mode! It’s the square button furthest to the right on the navigation bar.)

Read more about Wayrift [WAY] at the guild website.

Beautiful Sounds – Musical Saw and Volume Swells

It was back when I was a teenager that I first saw the movie “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”  The story impressed itself upon me deeply.  I could relate to the main character, who became my personal definition of an anti-hero, and his fight against a system that appeared to be doing good but may have been a tad misguided. Although his methods may not have been correct, his actions brought hope to the struggling people around him.  I still identify with the main theme of freedom of the human spirit. But more than the plot or message of the movie, today I’m thinking about the intro music. It was the first time I heard the unique, beautiful sound that is the musical saw.

Somewhat related but not entirely, there’s a song intro which I absolutely love. I think part of what I like about it is that it reminds me of a musical saw. The other part I like is that it’s music straight from the soul of John Frusciante. Here’s a clip of the Red Hot Chili Peppers playing “Don’t Forget Me” live in France. The song itself is alright, but I’m much more taken by the intro and guitar parts. I’ve been known to watch the first 1 minute of this video over and over — you can see the peace and love on John’s face as he’s playing.

If you want to hear the other guitar parts, they occur:
from 2.44 – 3.00
from 4.01 – 4.33
from 5.03 – 5.37
Or you could also watch the whole video (please disregard people fighting invisible ninjas).


And last but not least, here’s a moving rendition of “Ava Maria” by Austin Blackburn on the musical saw.