Angry Ghost Poem

Inkblot03

it’s hard to take this and grin and bear
the frustration i feel is beyond compare
a case of misconception, are you not who i thought you were?
caught up in a reflection, was i in love with a blur
i hate to say that my ideal was just a dream
i hate to say that you’re not what you seem

my words get twisted, there’s no outlet for vengeance
one day i’ll see a Fury, revenge instead of remembrance
that’s a sad fate for any vessel to accept
i’d rather take my chances, and dodge the doubt that has crept

slowly but surely, like a tortoise are these thoughts
they wind their way through my mind, little vats of poison waiting in pots
i dread the day they become overfilled
because i know that’s when my anger will be spilled
in the meantime they sit, smoky and steaming
the me inside me is silently screaming

so i let this venom take shape on this paper
these thoughts and these words disappear in a vapor
i’m left with the serenity i was granted at birth
but still i’m drained of joy, living a life without mirth

i could say that i’ve only let myself down
i jumped in high water and i wonder why i drown
my hopes were unreal?  no, i don’t believe this
i can’t shake this feeling that something’s amiss
too many voices, clouding my decisions
i have faith in no man, only in my visions
i know for sure things won’t be this way forever
i’ll stand up straight, alone but together

i’m searching for release, let these dramas fall away
the roles that i’m playing just won’t heel and stay
the show keeps on and on, and I’m beginning to get tired
there’s quicksand at my feet and I’m hopelessly mired
so while i’m stuck and sinking, i’ll take a moment to think
how can i take this bullsh*t when i feel i’m on the brink
there’s a door in front of me, one I’ve never seen before
i can almost reach the handle, i’m almost at the core
i recall the outer layers, where i’m a slave to human habit
in the forest out there, i’m nothing but a rabbit
but the further i go in, the more clearly i see
that those games of who-rules-who, are all in essence “me”

destroy your weaker selves?  seems like a simple solution
but what are the repercussions of this psychic pollution
strength to overpower others is not strength when you really look
strength is flowing on, despite the rocks, with the wisdom of a brook
the aim of this endeavor is to achieve continuous motion
wave and trough through your existence, know the persistence of the ocean
the ripples on it’s smooth face can be caused by one small action
be aware of what you do, know there will be a reaction

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